When I was a salon assistant in the late 90’s, I drove to work every day hating my job. In the winter when I made a fist, my knuckles would crack and bleed from doing shampoos.

High end salon life was not what I expected, but when I left college for cosmetology school my dad said, “don’t be a quitter” so I stuck it out.

I ended up loving that salon, and if I had quit I would not be the stylist I am today. 

Around the year 2000, majority ownership changed hands. Soon the stylists and owners from Chicago came less, and local stylists started leaving too. I was close to two stylists who had already left for a small salon on West Plaza. They told me there was one chair left. If I wanted it, I needed to act fast.

I hesitated.  

Another stylist that had already left didn’t like her new salon, and she took the last chair. 

Life Inventory

A few days later I sat alone on a bench in the upstairs cutting gallery. All 8 chairs were empty. There were 15 more downstairs in the cutting department where a few stylists were working spread out.

People think a salon’s success is based on how “busy” it looks, which is not true, but even then I understood overhead in a business. Once in the office, I saw a monthly rent statement. It was double what I made in a year so it felt like a sinking ship.

Blankly, I stared at the tennis courts across the street and took my first life inventory.  

A few years earlier my parents had moved our family construction business to Springfield. My sister soon followed.

My best friends from high school were graduating college and starting jobs during the dot com era.

Some took a gap year to backpack through Europe. 

Now my salon friends had moved on too. 

I was 23.

I felt very alone, and I was filled with self doubt about myself and my future.  

Security

I thought to myself “I left college behind because I didn’t want the stress of construction. I wanted autonomy, my own career, my own security-but my job feels insecure.”

So I started stashing tips and 15% of my paycheck in case I’d be jobless. A few months later I was digging in the Sunday paper and saw an ad for a loft on 39th street. I had $2400 in my mason jar. Did I want to own a salon? Not really, but I did not want the feeling of my an uncertain future either. 

Which was naive, there are no certainties with anything but three days later I was walking through a loft space over a deli in midtown. My inner monologue was in a debate.

The side I often ignored said “this is not the plan, we’re not doing this”. The other side said “nothing worth having comes easy”.

I saw a fork in my road with two very different paths, both had many unknowns.

I flipped my brain off, and asked the realtor “can I have a moment to walk through the space alone?”  He looked at me funny, but said yes. 

I took a few breaths, looked around, and took another inventory.

The steep stairway sucked. The bus stop outside the front door was super sketch, but I could see myself there.

Little did I know.

That day sitting on the bench I asked myself…

 “Why didn’t I go with my friends to that salon?”  

“Why did I leave college for hair school, I’d have a project management degree now?”  

“Why didn’t I just stay with my parents and work for them?”  

I was 23. I didn’t know the human brain fully matures until age 25, but I still knew the answer why. 

None of that felt right for me

Growing up fast.

In a way I gave up a big part of my youth for her, but she’s also been my life preserver (and others) many times. 

I just knew I loved that space, and hair-so I followed my heart.

Later, “making it” in life would change meaning many times.

Later, I learned following your heart means sometimes you break it.

But I didn’t know that yet, I just knew I wasn’t a quitter. 

The choices we make. 

Any small business owner knows it’s difficult to emotionally detach when making hard choices. Especially a business that invests in people. A business takes on a life of it’s own, and it can be both energizing and tiring. 

Last year I read my old salon owner bought back majority shares of his company in 2017 at 70% LESS than what he’d sold for in the early 2000’s.

 23 years ago his wise business decision made me ponder life on his bench. Now I know how difficult that must have been, but I only thought about how it affected me.

That time in my life shaped beliefs for me.

• Don’t let self-doubt define you. You’re always one choice away from a different life.
• Sometimes different is what we need, even if it is not what we want.
• I didn’t know at a very young age I stopped listening to the grown ups in the room, to listen to my intuition.
•  Now if it says wait or go, I listen. 
• Humans hate change because change comes with sacrifice and the unknown. 
• If you are not willing to give up something for the life you’re meant for, the universe decides for you. 

I never planned on being a salon owner, I just wanted job security. I never tried to grow the salon, I just filled needs when I saw them, but I wish I knew what happened to that bench.

Little did I know, at age 23 I was exactly where I was supposed to be.