When I was a salon assistant in the late 90’s, I drove to work every day hating my job. In the winter when I made my fist it would crack and bleed from doing shampoos all day.

High end salon life was not what I expected, but when I left college for cosmetology school my dad said, “don’t be a quitter” so I stuck it out. I ended up loving that salon, and if I had quit when I was an assistant, I would not be the stylist I am today. 

Around the year 2000, majority ownership changed hands. It didn’t take long to see the stylists from Chicago went back to Chicago and the owners came less and local stylists started leaving too. I was close to two stylists who had already left for a small salon on West Plaza they were happy in. 

They told me there was one chair left. If I wanted it, I needed to act fast, but I hesitated.  

Another stylist that had already left didn’t like her new salon, she took the last chair. 

Life Inventory

A few days later I sat alone on a bench in the upstairs cutting gallery. All 8 chairs were empty. There were 15 more downstairs in the cutting department where a few stylists were working spread out.

I have since learned people think a large salon’s success is based on how “busy” it looks, which is not true. Even then I understood how overhead affects a business. Once in the office, I saw a monthly rent statement. It was double what I made in a year.

It felt like a sinking ship, and I stared at the tennis courts across the street and took my first life inventory.  

A few years earlier my parents had moved our family construction business to Springfield. My sister soon followed.

My best friends from high school were graduating college and starting good jobs during the dot.com era. Some took a gap year to backpack through Europe.  My salon friends had moved on too. 

I was 23, felt alone, had serious doubts about my future and myself. 

Security

I thought I left college and an easy family construction job because I witnessed the merry go round of being a builder my whole life. I wanted autonomy. I wanted my own career away from a 4th generation building family. My own security was the goal, but my job felt very insecure.

After that day, I started stashing my tips and 15% of my paycheck just in case I’d be jobless. A few months later I was digging in the Sunday paper, and saw a page of commercial spaces available and circled an ad for a loft on 39th street.

I put the paper down and ran to my mason There was a little over $2400. I had zero desire to own a salon, but didn’t like the feeling of my uncertain future. 

Three days later I walked through a loft space over a deli in midtown. My inner monologue was in a full-blown debate. The side I often ignored said “ this is not the plan, we’re not doing this”. The other side said “yeah but nothing worth having comes easy”. I saw a fork in my road and two very different lives ahead of me with many unknowns. I flipped my brain off, and I asked the realtor for a moment to walk through the space alone. He looked at me funny. I said “I watched my mom do this my whole life, indulge me please.” He did. 

I took a few breaths, and walked through the space. I took another inventory.

The steep stairway in a 200 year old building sucked,  and the bus stop outside the front door was super sketch- but I could see myself there.

Little did I know.

That day sitting on the bench I asked myself “Why didn’t I go with my friends to that salon?”  

“Why did I leave college for hair school, I’d have a project management degree now?”  

“Why didn’t I just stay with my parents and work for them?”  

I was 23. I didn’t know the human brain fully matures until age 25, but I still knew the answer why. 

None of that felt right for me

The choices we make. 

Any small business owner knows it’s difficult to emotionally detach when making hard choices. Especially if you grow up with your business. Especially if it is a business that invests in and depends on people. The energy of a business or a brand takes on a life of its own. That energy builds. It can energize you. It can build in strength, which means you must become stronger, which is why it can drain you at times as well.   

Last year I read my old salon owner bought back majority shares of his company in 2017 at 70% LESS than what he’d sold for in the early 2000’s. Savvy, but life is funny. 23 years ago his business decision made me ponder my life, as I sat on his bench. Now I know how many difficult that must have been, but I only thought about how it affected me. It made me realize that time in my life shaped a new belief system that became core values for me.

• Don’t let self-doubt make you forget who you are. Good or bad, you’re always one choice away from a different life. Sometimes different is what we need, even if it is not what we want.

• I didn’t know at a young age I stopped listening to the grown ups in the room to listen to my gut. Instinct, intuition, or inner knowing is not our fear based brain. When we flip our brain off, we hear our inner compass. Now if it says wait… I wait. If it says- go, I listen. 

• Humans hate change because change comes with sacrifice, but if you are not willing to give up something for the life you’re meant for, the universe decides for you.  Meant for is purpose. Purpose is often in conflict with the life we THINK we want. 

I never planned on being a salon owner, I just wanted job security. I never tried to grow the salon, I just filled needs when I saw them, but I wish I knew what happened to that bench. Little did I know, at 23 it was exactly where I was supposed to be.